I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
