Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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