just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
