shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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