It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
