You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
