Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
