just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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