Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
