This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
