Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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