perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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