I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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