i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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