It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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