I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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