what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
