i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
