Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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