Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize