im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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