i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
