Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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