awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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