we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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