She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
