let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My dick has a subreddit
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
