I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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