k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if only i could text you this smell
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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