I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
