I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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