I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The best revenge is premature balding
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
