I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
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