Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
