Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
