does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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