You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
