Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
