Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize