I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im holly from the hills drunk
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
