I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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