Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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