can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
