Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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