got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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