I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
