if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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