I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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