I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
