take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize