I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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