Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
