As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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