dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
