who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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