dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize