Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
