I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize