I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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