I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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