I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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