I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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