all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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