is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
