i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
