just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
