Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize