You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
