I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
