Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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