So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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