she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You took a bar mat shot.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize