I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Plan B is the new Plan A
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
