I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She said her name was "party"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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