There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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